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10 Things To Know Before Having Kids

It is such a warm and nice feeling to see a family enjoying an afternoon walk at the park, or to see a mom tending to her cute daughter at the playground, or a dad carrying his little son on his shoulders. You can't help but smile and wonder how it is like to be a parent, then your imagination starts to kick in showing you a vision of a picture perfect scene of you having a happily married life with kids smiling at the background.

10 Things To Know Before Having Kids
10 Things To Know Before Having Kids

Top 10 Things To Know Before Having Kids

Before having kids or children of your own, here are some things or factors that you need to consider:

1.  Your Age

You are just minding your own business then you see a mom with her cute and adorable baby. That is enough trigger to make you want to have a baby or a kid for yourself.

If you are still in your teenage years and currently studying at school, sometimes you can't help and resist yourself from such urges that you end up being pregnant anyways.

If you have a baby at this very young age, you will need to balance your time to study, work, and take care of your kid aside from dealing with your parent's nagging and bickering about your responsibilities. 

If you are in the age of 20 to 30, this is the time that you are starting to establish your career, trying to save and support yourself, and finding the love of your life. A lot of women are pressured into having family and kids at this time as they see their friends and peers already getting married and having kids of their own on Facebook and Instagram. You feel this need to start a family as soon as possible to be able to blend in and be just like the rest of the crowd.

If you are in the age of 31 - 40, this is the time when you are expected to have an established life and career. Some people are highly motivated on having their dream home, their dream car, their perfect wedding but they tend to focus their attention less on having family and kids. There seemed to be no time to fit this all in the equation until it is too late to squeeze it in their busy schedule and daily routine.

If you are past your 40's and is wanting to have kids of your own at this time, nothing is impossible if you have that willpower and determination to make it happen. For as long as you are healthy and fit, then by all means do not let your life pass by without raising a kid of your own.

2.  Financial flexibility and stability

Bringing up a baby into this world is such a rewarding feeling but raising up a child will take a lot of love, support, and money. You need to consider your financial situation and if you are able to balance and budget your costs and expenses.

The most important factor for having a kid is that you have a work that allows you to bring in a flexible and stable source of income to support all your expenditures.

Here are some of the expenses that will be incurred for having a kid:

  • Hospital expenses for delivery or childbirth
  • Vaccinations, Vitamins, and Health Supplements
  • Milk Formula and Food
  • Diapers
  • Clothes
  • Cost of Hiring a Nanny or Caregiver

3.  Time Management Skills

If you think that you are capable of managing your time wisely and if you are flexible enough to balance and juggle your time for family, friends, work, and kids then go ahead with your plan of having a baby.

The time you need to focus on your kids vary with their age:

  • If you are tending to a baby with age starting from 1 day old to 1 year old - you need more time and attention tending to them as they are literally helpless in every possible way.
  • 1 year old - 3 year old toddlers - they start learning how to talk, walk, write, draw, play, and learn the basic ways of life.
  • 4 - 6 year old kids - they start going to school for preschool, nursery, kindergarten.
  • 7 - 12 year old kids - grade school they are more independent now
  • 13-19 year old teens - puberty, teenage life, high school, deciding a career path
  • 20 year old and above - adulthood, getting a college or university degree

4.  Breastfeeding

Do not forget that when you give birth to your baby, you will need to learn how to breastfeed your child if you want him or her to have the best possible source of food and nourishment for his overall growth and brain development.

Mother's milk is the best food for the baby and is the most common way to bond while giving him or her the love, comfort, and affection that he or she needed the most.

Breastfeeding is not as easy as you think it is. it takes a lot of dedication, commitment, and sacrifice. You don't just expect your breasts to start producing milk whenever you needed them. You will be compelled to keep on pump your breasts for milk almost every hour because if you fail to do so, the milk will start accumulating making your breasts painful, heavy, and soaking on your shirt. If you get lazy in pumping milk out of your breast, milk production will stop almost suddenly if not immediately.

You feed your baby every 2 or 3 hours and every time they get hungry. You will have to set your alarm clock to do this and wake up in the middle of the night to feed him or her. You dedicate your time in breastfeeding until your nipples are red and raw and until your baby is at least 6 months to 1 years old.

5.  Sleep Adjustment

It is advisable to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. If you are a person who loves to follow a daily routine and habit of sleeping on time every night, then you will need to learn how to adjust your sleeping pattern or sleeping habits.

By having a baby, the breastfeeding time alone will already distort your sleeping time and sleep pattern because you have to wake up to check and feed your baby every 2 or 3 hours. Even if you are not breastfeeding, you will still have to wake up and feed your baby with warm milk formula every 2 or 3 hours. They need to eat or else they will cry out so loud that you will not get any sleep anyways.

You have to keep the baby quiet at night by feeding him or her on time because if he or she cries, your husband will nag at you as he has to get up early to work in the morning. You will have to make sure he gets to have sufficient time to sleep while you tend to the baby all day and all night.

For as long as you have a child in your home, your sleeping pattern will never be the same. Why? Because your motherly instincts will tell you to go check on them over and over and over again making sure they are just fine and safe. Sleeping times will always be abrupt, short, and staggered.

6. Sacrifice of Time and Money

You have to learn how to make a few sacrifices or adjustments to a certain degree for wanting to have kids. Here are a few things that you will need to sacrifice:
  • The time you spend going out shopping for yourself, going to the salon, going to the gym, going to parties will now be spent for your kid.
  • The time you spend sleeping all night is interrupted to check on your kid.
  • The time and attention you give to friends and other family members is lessened unless you are still living with them.
  • Cost of food for the kids have to be budgeted as well because they will not eat what you usually eat. They have varying food preferences depending on their age.
  • Responsibility at home and household chores is increased.
  • Savings for kids education and emergency needs have to be budgeted.
  • Daily routine and habits have to be adjusted to cater to the kids.
  • Living home adjustments have to be made to give family members their space.
  • Adjustment to the kids changes in needs and wants as they grow older
  • Adjustment to changes in future goals and desires in life

7.  Stability in Relationship

You need to make sure that you have a strong and stable relationship with family, friends, and loved ones. They can give you the best advice in your decision to having kids and they can help support you in taking care and raising your kids as well.

If your kid is being taken cared of by a person whom you can trust, then this is the only way that you will be able to have the time to take a break from taking care of your kid. But even so, that help may or may not last long.

8.  Sense of Responsibility

If you are determined to have a baby or kids of your own, then you should know that you will have to practice managing responsibilities at all times. It takes time, energy, and effort to take care of kids, your husband, your household chores, your job or work, managing your own personal life, etc. Practice makes perfect but it is also good if you are able to delegate chores to other people whom you can trust. This allows you to take a break or rest once in a while.

9.  Post-pregnancy body

If you have the perfect body figure right now from doing extensive exercises, doing yoga, spending money for going to the gym to be fit and all, dieting, having appointment for flawless skin and facials, having weekly manicures and pedicures, buying clothes and shoes to look good for your man and to impress other people, then stay that way.  But if you choose to have a kid - you have to change your lifestyle and way of living.

During or after pregnancy, your body starts to change. I observed that my neck started getting dark then I cannot keep up with my dieting because I started having these insatiable cravings for food.

After giving birth, you will start having stretchmarks as well so keep on massaging your belly with coconut oil, Bio-oil and use whatever whitening soap or lotion that works for you to reduce the appearance of those dark spots on your body.

You will have to balance your time and energy in taking care of your baby from dusk till dawn while making sure that you have time to tend to your husband's needs and time to exercise and beautify yourself until you get back to your original perfect body figure as before.

10.  Postpartum depression

This will be the least of your worries as you will have to deal with this postpartum depression while taking care of your helpless little newborn baby. You need to have a strong will and determination to battle this kind of temporary depression that causes self-pity and anxiety.

Just keep in mind that your baby needs you to be there for him or her so be strong and think positive at all times. You got what you want - to have a kid! So be happy and thankful about it.  To show love to your kid, you have to be willing and determined to sacrifice.

Maraming Salamat po for taking the time to visit our simple Pinay Mom Blog for Filipino Parenting.

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